My life seems to be about turn-over these days.

My contract is coming up, and it’s not looking hopeful for renewal. The lack of renewal is nothing personal: it’s just that they brought me on as a junior developer. Now I’ve successfully managed a team of 5 people through a Agile implementation which drastically improved their productivity and morale. My compensation for the next go-around is going to have to be at the market rate for such a role, but that’s a substantial bump from the junior developer rate they originally had me on at. Something I’ve noticed is that large businesses can’t deal with bumps of that magnitude, even if it’s fully justified and just keeping in pace with the value of an employee/contractor. This was exactly the problem I had with the management at StoneBridge/Healthia, and unless the project architect’s Hell-bent crusade to keep me on board works, it seems like that’s the way UBH is going to be going, too. So I’m looking elsewhere.

Found a consulting-pimp that I like quite a bit. If I get on board with them and continue to like them, I’ll let you know who they are. I’m pretty reserved about recommending consulting/contracting companies, because there’s a lot of them and most of them suck dead green bunnies through itty bitty straws. These seem good though, at least in our initial conversation. Now I just need a new contract.

My social scene is also undergoing a bit of turnover. I’m going to switch Masonic Lodges to something closer to home (Stillwater or Saint Paul, and as soon as I can get onto MN-Mason.org, I’ll be making phone calls), I’m checking out possibly switching to Bryn Mawr Church (still Presbyterian, don’t spaz) because of some of the energy going on their and their More Light Presbyterian membership. Looking forward to the Scottish Rite this Fall, which is one piece of consistency, I guess. Outside of these organizations, though, it seems like all but a very small handfull of my friends have/are moving on, either physically or circumstantially.

For a while, this turnover was really upsetting me, but I’ve made some peace with it in the last few days. There’s been a bit of a mess going on that has made me realize I am not going to be able to bring everyone along my path with me: other people are going to pick their path, and it’s best to let them go on it. If I try to force people to come with my path, it is simply going to lead to problems. Instead, I just need to make sure I appreciate the times when my path and theirs intersect, and to acknowledge the points when they diverge with grace.

Also, I have had turn-over with my self-conception and what I expected out of my future. While I was considering going to seminary and becoming a pastor for a while, I’m not sure that really fits me. Some deep soul-searching made me realize that it wasn’t really what is right for me, and I’m glad I realized it now before I committed to seminary. Part of the drive was wanting to be my dad’s dad: he lived such an amazing life that I wanted to live it, too. But that was his path, and I’m a different person. Part of it, too, is the same drive that attracted me to Theta Chi and Freemasonry, which is a desire to really focus on doing good and have fellowship with other people who do. At the end of the day, though, I don’t think I’m really a “Minister of Word and Sacrament” kind of person: I’m more a “Priesthood of All Believers” kinda person. Although I care about people, the warm fuzzy stuff just isn’t my schtick. And while there’s also a major part of management in a Pastor’s life, day-to-day management of a church doesn’t really draw me, either. I’m still going to become an Inquierer within the PC(USA), because there’s more inquiry that needs to be done on this question: it’s not closed, it’s just that I’ve got a very different viewpoint now than I did before. Also, note that I am saying nothing bad about being a professor here, and being a Professor of Christian Studies (where the seminary conversation started) is stillon my to-do list: it’s just not going to be this year, because I’m not ready for it.

Instead of heading off to seminary, I am going to focus on getting myself established with my bride-to-be for a while, and we’ll see where there goes. While One_of_tha_Few works on establishing long-term cash flow through real estate, I am heading more and more towards a couple of the business ideas that I have kicking around in the back of my head. And we’re heading together towards our wedding this September, which is coming up disturbingly fast.

For those that haven’t heard, my brother is on his way back from the Air Force. He had a medical problem with his feet. That’s 0 for 2 in my family and the Air Force right now, although I could see my bro taking another swing at it in the near future. Still, I think it’s awesome that he went for it. And, purely selfishly, I’m going to be glad to see him at my wedding.

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